Tag Archives: Financial Peace University

Car Fever

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I’ve spent quite a bit of time thinking about vehicles this week as our van is in the shop for routine maintenance.  Call me crazy, but nothing about an $1100 bill feels routine.

With 129,000 miles, our family’s primary vehicle was well over-due for its 100,000 mile coolant and transmission flush and tune up.  The water pump was leaking and the air filter and wiper blades were in desperate need of replacement.  I should confess that we bought this vehicle used with 15,000 miles and we’ve never taken it in for more than its 3,000-5,000 mile oil changes.  We missed the recommended 50,000 mile service by 79,000 miles.  It was definitely due for some TLC.

I drive a 2006 Chevy Uplander.  It’s a mini-van, and there’s no way to dress it up as anything other than a family vehicle that often resembles our second living room/kitchen combo.  In fact, it often smells like our bathroom.  In the summertime you might find left behind towels and swim suits that have started to smell or sweaty socks and shoes that are removed as soon as is physically possible.  There have been various drink and food spills, as we often eat on the go, and food is sometimes forgotten in one of the van’s many out of sight, out of mind storage compartments.  My husband refers to the van as my second purse, but very little that is left in the van is actually mine.

Our van’s exterior has seen better days.  I’m grateful that we’ve had space to keep it in a garage or carport as the paint job and clear coat are very nice, but the van has been in several fender benders during our 6 years of ownership and a close inspection reveals dents, dings, cracks and folds that serve as reminders of “experiences”.  You’ll have to ask Franklin to recount the specifics for you.

Nine years ago Franklin and I began our journey toward Financial Peace with Dave Ramsey.  At that time, we drove an Eddie Bauer limited edition Ford Expedition with leather seats and fanny warmers.  That Expedition was the culmination of a long line of expensive vehicle decisions.

When Franklin and I began dating, I drove a little green compact 4 door.  It was perfect for my little family of two, but I traded it in for a brand new sporty 2 door when we married and our income increased ever so slightly.  We realized our folly when we became pregnant and thought through a second car seat in the very small back seat of our little silver bullet.   We upsized to a Dodge Intrepid, and just 1 year later, we upsized again to the Expedition.   Car fever is certainly an illness that is difficult to recover from, and I’ve felt myself on the verge of a relapse in recent months.  I find myself envious of my friends’ cars and I often long for leather once again.

A friend and I were talking this past week about a “Spirit of Poverty”.  We were discussing new jeans and $300 purses and I began to think about our van, our wardrobes, our diet, and the furnishings we have in our home.  These are not new musings; and yet, we’ve chosen time and again to be frugal.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines frugal as, “careful about spending money or using things when you do not need to;  using money or supplies in a very careful way.”  I prefer that definition to the synonyms I also found, “scrimping, self-denying, monkish, miserly, and penny-pinching,” although I know that some might accurately describe me at given times.

My van really is just a means of physically getting from one place to another.  In keeping my van, which should be in tip top shape for another several years after this week’s maintenance, I’m giving up a wee bit of comfort and a bit of pride and status, but I wouldn’t be at home pursuing a new business venture with another $400 monthly bill and an increase in insurance that a new car would require.

I certainly don’t have this all figured out, but when all is said and done, we want to honor God with our finances.  We do not want a $400 car payment to be the thing that stops us from pursuing things of value that we feel called to do, but we also do not want to be seen as walking in a “Spirit of Poverty”.  We do not want to imply that walking in faith is a life of self-denial; or is it?  James 3:15, Luke 16:9, 1 Peter 2:11, Proverbs 21:20, 1 Timothy 6:10, Proverbs 27:23, Luke 14:28-30, Proverbs 22:7, Proverbs 6:1-5, and Romans 13:8 have given us pause regarding our finances for many years.  Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.”  Heavenly Father, that your Word rather than our culture, be my guide.

My Husband is “My Happy Place”

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Several weeks ago there was a photo being shared on Facebook.  The caption read, “My husband is my happy place.”  I saved the picture and shared it on my timeline.  Franklin and I have come a long way in our 15 years together and with the exception of the Truth found in God’s Holy Word, no statement is truer in my life.

Franklin and I met in high school.  My family moved to Portales from Clayton when my grandmother, Mary Thompson, passed away.  Herschel and I joined the Ram Band and found a group of young musicians who became the core of our Portales friend base.  We continue to connect with many of those friends, two of whom we’ve married.

Alison and I were good friends.  She was an outstanding oboist, and she and I roomed together on out of town band and competitive speech trips.  Alison and my twin, Herschel, began to date the summer after graduation and married five years later.  They have four beautiful children and live in Norman, Oklahoma.

Franklin was a good friend of Herschel’s.  He was often at our home and often asked me out though I never accepted.  I remember thinking he was cute and kind in a brotherly kind of a way, but he was shorter than me, might have weighed 110 pounds soaking wet, had feathered hair and wore a bolo tie.  I was much more interested in athletes and gave Franklin little more than a fleeting thought.

Although we didn’t date, we have many memories and pictures together from those couple of years.  Pictures from Ram Band banquets, our high school graduations, and my senior year band trip (he “chaperoned” with his parents as a college freshman) to Los Angeles, Harry Connick Jr., and a letter or two are precious mementos of shared time before this thing we now have began.

I married and moved away, but returned to Portales as a single mom to finish my MEd and be close to my family.  Franklin and I met again when he accepted a teaching position at the same elementary school I was teaching at.  I refused his invitations for anything more than friendship initially, but enjoyed to getting to know him again.  Hind sight being what it is, I believe The Holy Spirit softened my heart and I began to see him in a new light.

Franklin and I dated for 7 months before he proposed and we married on the Millennium’s Eve, New Year’s Eve 1999.  The small sanctuary of First Spanish Baptist Church was packed with close friends and family, luminaries, white roses, and Jim Brickman set the mood, my father-in-law officiated, Bailey, just 2 weeks shy of 4 carried the rings, my parents gave me away and my siblings stood with me as we entered into a covenant relationship with God, “For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, until we are parted by death.”

Like all new marriages we had our struggles.  We both had selfish tendencies and strongholds to submit, communication strategies to learn, and financial management and budgeting techniques to master.  There were our fair share of tears and frustrations but we committed time and again to each other, this is “For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, until we are parted by death.”

We relied on the experience and wisdom of others.  Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace Revisited and his class Financial Peace University, Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages, Kevin Leman’s Sheet Music, Mark and Grace Driscoll’s Real Marriage, Laura Schlessinger’s  The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, The Love Dare, and numerous Beth Moore Bible studies have been important in my growth as a wife, a mother, and a Christian woman.  Weekly praise and worship and Bible study with our local church, our participation in our local Walk to Emmaus community, sermons online, our own daily quiet time, and our morning family time in the Bible continue to strengthen our walk with God and our relationships with each other and those with whom we “do life”.

Another couple of things we’ve realized the past 15 years have rooted our relationship.  1)  We’ve consciously worked to enjoy several of the same activities.  It’s been important for us to, very simply, spend time together.   2)  We exercise (or try to) together several times a week.  We’ve alternated between walking, jogging, and riding bikes.  In fact, I’m still sore from a huge Pilates circuit workout Thursday night.  It doesn’t really matter what the activity is, we’re together and we’re thoughtful about our physical wellness.  3)  We schedule a date night once a week (and more often than not, we keep the date).  Often, we don’t leave the house or spend a penny, but the kids are at Grandma’s and we focus on and relax with one another.  4)  We know how to work together; from the weekly housekeeping to huge projects we’ve tackled (installing a sprinkler system, laying flooring, removing and installing windows, gutting and remodeling bathrooms, landscaping huge lawns, and staining thousands of square feet of concrete).  We enjoy working side by side and know we can count on each other to work hard.

Please hear me when I say, we have our tough days.  I’ve got a short fuse and a smart, stabbing tongue when I let my guard down.  As I get older, the 2-3 days a month when Mama rides an emotional roller-coaster are more like 6-7 days.  We are certainly not immune to the stressful seasons of life (the ebb and flow of the school year, allergies and illness, a new career, and a new home) but at the end of the day we find some quiet time to share the ups and downs of the day and we reassure each other that this is “For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, until we are parted by death.”

Because we’ve always had a child in our home, we’ve typically been at home in the late evenings.  We’ve always had “bedtime” for the kids, and in those quiet moments after the kids are tucked in, we’ve always ended our day together.  We do have our own study spaces in the house, and in the mornings we have our alone time, but our evenings have always been shared.

For years, my very favorite time of the day has been those last minutes before I fall asleep when I’m tucked in along Franklin’s side, my head on his shoulder.  I’ve called that spot “my happy place” for years.  I would take another hour or two there every evening and I can’t image anywhere else that I’d rather be (okay, I know…  Heaven, yes… but on Earth, no way!).